People often ask me: “Have you been doing yoga for a long time? You’re so flexible!”. Well, no. I haven’t. I’m not one of those teachers who have been practicing since they discovered yoga at a young age, spent hours on the mat each day, gone to retreats in India and Bali.
I did come across yoga when I was younger. As a performer (way back then) yoga was offered as one form of the daily warm-up practices we did, intermingled with contemporary dance and ballet classes, a sprinkling of pilates and whatever training was deemed useful for the production I was in. Some of you have heard me say this already: I didn’t like yoga AT ALL back then. I was prone to getting headaches, so I hated doing inversions with the blood rushing to my head. I was extremely impatient, so the notion of holding poses (or, heavens forbid, sitting and MEDITATING!) was horrifying. And I didn’t know why we had to jump up and down saluting the sun.
It was just circumstance. I just wasn’t in the right frame of mind, and the teachers and their teachings / methods didn’t appeal to me.
So then, not long ago, in the quest to get back into doing something physical again (especially after suffering from brachial neuritis – but that’s another story) I found myself in a gym that happened to have very good yoga teachers. I can’t even remember why I decided to go to a yoga class then. And suddenly, I found yoga again. I enjoyed and related to it so much that I ended up training to be a teacher and here I am.
But what I’m not setting out today is to write my yogic autobiography.
What I want to say is, that having been a dancer, YES I was more flexible even after years of not dancing. YES, I have a good sense of rhythm and spatial / body awareness. So YES, it was easy for me to “assume” yoga. And with my (secretly) competitive show-off nature, no wonder yoga appealed to me in those early days of my practice.
What I learnt since then, however, is that it’s not about getting that beautiful line in your pose, being able to balance on your arms, doing the splits or standing on your head. It’s all about the journey and the control and mindset you develop in walking that path. THat’s how yoga should be: from the inside out. You find your intentions, your frame of mind. You drop your ego, you develop focus, you learn to breathe. And the body follows. So I had it the WRONG WAY ROUND. I had to work backwards, especially as I wanted to be able to teach.
It’s easy to tell someone, “your warrior pose would look much nicer with your arms extended, shoulders down, front let at a 90 degree angle and your hips squared”. It’s similar to fixing someone’s arabesque in a ballet class. But even in ballet, it’s those with a deeper connection beyond (or rather, within) the body that excel in the art, not the ones that can leap the highest or do the most pirouettes. It’s those who are able to touch the hearts and imagination of the audience.
OK, so yoga is not a performance, so there is a difference. It’s really just for YOU (don’t get me started on the topic of yoga as sport. Aaaahhhhh!!!). But as performers, as singers, surely the only way you can reach out to your audience is by discovering yourself, tapping into the reality that is you, and being able to use your whole being, body and soul, to express and connect?
My personal yoga journey therefore has been to work my way inwards. From the exterior poses to finding myself inside. Yes, I do sometimes go for the more advanced poses, but it’s so that I can struggle, rather than find it easy to “strike a pose”. I want to go through the frustration of not being able to do something, the discovery of the meaning of a pose or practice (what does it do, what benefits can it bring), the acceptance of how far my personal body and mind can go in that effort. And when I can go through this journey, then I find true contentment in practicing yoga.
But then I don’t burn incense, invoke the gods (of any denomination), read affirmative quotes and burn candles in my classes to invoke spirituality. Not that I have anything against teachers who do (and I may do so if it feels right one day). I do talk initially a lot about alignment and breathing, more so than I talk about your soul. Why? Because you still need to be safe in your practice. No, it’s not about getting your leg up there, but if you’re going to do a pose, you should do it correctly so that you protect your body, strengthen your body and in doing so you are able to let go of that body – in time, the alignment etc becomes second nature so that you can start to dig deeper and find what you need in the yoga practice. If you’re worried about twisting your hips or hurting your lower back, then how will you find focus, rid yourself of anxiety, find poise and become more aware of your whole self to add to your performance skills?
My yoga that I share with you performers is not about becoming an amazing yogi. And I don’t profess to be an amazing yogi. As they say, you never stop learning in yoga. And it’s the same in life, isn’t it? I struggle with letting go of my competitive nature. I struggle with getting up in the morning to teach an early class. I struggle with finding time for my own practice. YEY!
Then when I teach, I sometimes wonder “are you getting what you want from this class?”. And then someone would come up to me after class and say “thank you, that was beautiful”. And it all feels worthwhile and “right”. If you walk away from my class with one small thing, be it a sense of achievement (for having made it through a cold Melbourne winter to get to class), a feeling of relaxation or better mobility in those stiff shoulders of yours, then I’M HAPPY. And hopefully there are more subtle seeds being planted that will grow and help you with your singing, your performance. Yes, it takes time, it takes dedication, but hey let’s enjoy the journey together and have a bit of fun along the way.